i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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