But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
