I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize