i just wanna soil my oats bro
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
