No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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