...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
