genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
