naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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