We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize