OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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