I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize