his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
