You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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