I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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