Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
