I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Vodka?
Forever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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