How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
