like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
