How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
