I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
