oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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