I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Two words: blizzard sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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