I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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