So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
