Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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