Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
