i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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