When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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