I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
