i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
