My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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