so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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