Swine flu is the new snow day.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My vagina is officially offended.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
