i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize