She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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