The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Panties = found
Randomize
