oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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