I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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