I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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