Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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