just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
