Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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