We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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