sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
