jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize