I'm eating all of the evidence.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
