I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
