How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize