Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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