how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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