I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
