you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
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