those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
