He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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