i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
sex in a hospital.. check
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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