I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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