yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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