I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
