Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize