Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize