There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
