Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
