So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
