Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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