If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize