Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
