so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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