Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there's paper in my vomit.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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