Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
