if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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