it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
