your parents love me but you hate me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
