your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize