Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
