Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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