he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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