I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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