why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
