okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
